In today’s installment of “2025 can’t get any weirder”, a drone exploded at the Chernobyl nuclear plant, causing global panic for about five minutes before officials confirmed that radiation levels remain normal—as normal as they can be in a place where mutant fish have their own zip codes.

Experts are still investigating, but as usual, the Internet already has the answers:

🧪 Possible Theories:

• Russia says they didn’t do it, which—given their track record—has the credibility of a toddler standing next to a broken lamp.
• The drone was on a historical tour of Cold War disasters, got too close, and panicked.
• The Munich Security Conference needed an icebreaker, and this was it.

💡Immediate Responses:

• Ukraine: “Great. As if fighting a war wasn’t enough, now we have to fact-check radiation levels in real time.”
• Russia: “Wasn’t us. But if it was, totally justified.”
• The U.N.: “We are deeply concerned and will now proceed to write a very strongly worded letter.”
• Elon Musk: Tweets a conspiracy theory and immediately gets 500,000 likes.

🔥 Moral of the story? Nothing gets world leaders to pay attention to Ukraine faster than the word “Chernobyl.”

Maybe next time, Kyiv should just rename itself “Nuclear Risk Zone” and see if that speeds up aid deliveries.