Washington, D.C. — In a bold step toward securing the future (and rewriting the past), the Department of Defense under Trump orders, has decided to suspend acccess to all Pentagon libraries on military bases. Because, as history has shown, the best way to strengthen a nation is to keep its citizens from reading too much. 🏛️🔥

“We’re not banning books,” a Pentagon spokesperson clarified. “We’re just making them… less available. For security reasons. Totally different.” 📖❌

History Repeats Itself – But Let’s Not Read About It Shutting down libraries to control information? Where have we seen that before? Oh right, the Nazis, who made quite a show of burning books that didn’t fit their narrative. 🕯️📜🔥

But this is different, right? We’re not burning books—just making sure no one has access to them. Much more subtle. A modern solution for an age-old problem.

Priorities: Tanks Over Teachers 🚀💰

With an $850 billion budget, the Pentagon had to make tough choices:

• ✅ More aircraft carriers than functional school buildings
• ✅ $14 billion for jets that sometimes fly ✈️
• ❌ Paying teachers and librarians (clearly a luxury)

"It’s about national security," an official explained. "An educated population asks too many questions, and quite frankly, we don’t have time for that."

Next Steps: Military-Approved Reading Lists

For those insisting on reading, officials are considering a list of Pentagon-approved books. Suggestions include:

• 📘 The Art of War – But just the parts about attacking first
• 📙 The Art of the Deal – Because history is written by the grifters
• 📕 1984 – But labeled as a how-to guide

Meanwhile, military parents are left wondering:

“If our kids don’t have schools or libraries, what’s next? Will they just play Call of Duty and learn about history from TikTok?”

The White House remains firm: books are dangerous, but more bombs are always the right call. 💥📚

👉The Guardian